I have a confession… if you can’t tell by the content on my website, I LOVE movies. I love the nostalgic feeling I get when I find myself in places that seem like they’re supposed to be in the latest ‘coming of age’ romance movie.
Nothing makes me feel more like I’m in a super cliché indie film than like a trip downtown. Nothing makes me feel like I’m in an EVEN more super cliché indie film than taking pictures while downtown. Being spontaneous is one of the few joys I get to have while in college because of a new-found type of freedom, the new town, the new people, etc., but for some reason I find myself not taking advantage of that. I don’t take advantage of a lot of things, I guess that’s where I find my flaw. To say the least college is nothing like I expected. I always thought it would be the place where I find my lifelong friends that I would make everlasting memories with and go to the craziest parties while keeping my grades looking up to par. It didn’t take me long to realize those things aren’t handed to you on a platter as soon as you get here. I’ve gone to ZERO parties and I’ve made ONE friend while here, which I can’t really complain about because she’s great (she’s the reason I can even write this) and I don’t make for a good partier.
It’s not that I wanted to do any of those things, I just thought they were the necessities of every person in college. I will say one thing that is true of the stereotypical time in here, there is a time that comes where you have that moment of realization when you must ask yourself, “who am I?”
I consider myself blessed because my season for finding myself arrived earlier than most. This without a doubt is THE most challenging journey a person has to embark on, especially because it’s one that you have to do on your own. Even though I’ve barely begun, I know what is required of me and let me say this, facing my truths will be the hardest task. I know where I want to be and who I want to be and I’m so excited to nurture myself into that person. I’m more than terrified if you want to know the truth. I’m hoping there’s someone out there that can relate to what I’m saying if not, I’m just that crazy girl that’s on the internet ranting on about nothing but, if there IS someone out there, even just one person, trust that HIS timing is right and take comfort in knowing that He’ll never leave you. Whoever your “He” is.
Also, know that it’s never too early or too late to reinvent yourself, everyone makes mistakes but trust me, you can change it. You can. The funny thing about this blog post is that it wasn’t supposed to be this sappy story on “finding myself”, it literally was supposed to be about what the title says with the story of my aesthetically pleasing time downtown. I guess in a way, this journey of becoming who I’m supposed to be is a “spontaneous adventure. “One I’m ready for.
“When you fight yourself to discover the real you, there is only one winner.”
― Stephen Richards