Coping With a Break-Up: A Series About Life
To say the least, breakups are pretty freaking hard to deal with. Scientifically it's one of the most painful non-physical experiences the human race can endure. We've all been through it and we've all learned to handle it differently or not handle it at all, which is totally not okay. So today, I've collected some advice based off my personal experience when coping with a break up and want to share it with you.
- In order to start the process you must first make the decision to MOVE ON. This perhaps the most important step in coping, if you can't tell yourself you're done for good then you'll never get over it.
- DELETE, BLOCK, REPEAT. In order to show yourself you are serious about moving on, let go of the physical memories and the routine you used to know. Don't text him/her, don't twatch (twitter watch), don't ask his/her friends how they are doing or who they are with, you have to detach yourself from all that is your ex, now this doesn't mean you forget this person or the memories this is you choosing to keep them at just what they are... memories.
- Know that pain is temporary and it demands to be felt. What I'm about to say may seem like the exact opposite of what you need to do but just trust me, you HAVE to EMBRACE the pain. Accept that you're in mourning (yes mourning because you are technically losing someone) and that is O K A Y, feel the pain whole heartedly because if you continue to push it to the back of your brain it'll continue to stay there and reappear and hinder you.
- With that: CRY, SCREAM, WRITE IT OUT; Let it out, don't let the pain you're feeling circumference you and suck you in.
- I was watching this guy on YouTube and he said something that has resided in me for awhile now. He said, "Know that all relationships aren't failed relationships just because they ended. Some relationships aren't mean to last forever some are defining moments in your life that needed to happen in that moment to help you become a piece of the person you are now." With that, my outlook on breakups have been different.
- There is no growth without vulnerability, heartbreak is an evil process that shames you for allowing your heart to be so tender. Don't let it scare you away from being vulnerable again.
- Look at the positives: take this moment to realize the capacity you can take your heart and mind when loving someone.
- Shift your focus off of the love you lost but the love you gained back and tune it back into yourself.
- Remember that missing someone is apart of getting over them, it's bound to happen and it is going to happen.
- Change is inevitable, accept that people come in go so it's probably not the best idea to instill the dependency of all your happiness into them because then you'll feel empty when they're gone when in reality you're full of your ability to control what has power over you and your happiness.
- It may feel like a piece of you is missing but please BELIEVE that you are WHOLE
- You WILL find love again, and again, and again.
- Remember that this will pass and you will be okay. You aren't as alone as you feel.
We're all amateurs at love and faith; don't be too hard on each other. -Bob Goff